I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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