i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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