I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize