That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
