did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
