I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
