apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
