there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
