You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
