Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
