sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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