I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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