Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
