i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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