Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
