Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
