Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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