TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sext me about skeletons
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
