PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
