their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
