You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
