Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize