i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
