Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize