my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
