i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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