the condom got lost in my hair
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
