Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
