just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
there is glitter all over my balls
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