It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK