I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?