you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...