Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize