I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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This gyro tastes like lonliness
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
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dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake