i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.