Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.

  (936): View more from Texas

  haha now u have to piss out ur bum

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I definitely just put my boxers on backwards. (936): haha now u have to piss out ur bum http://tfl.nu/xfh5
  Replies (10) Good night (1405) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu

  (773): View more from Illinois

  which is why it's clearly superior

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu (773): which is why it's clearly superior http://tfl.nu/iahv
  Replies (26) Good night (3000) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  Wow! You need to get laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits? (1-941): Wow! You need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/yl4s
  Replies (47) Good night (844) Bad night (5988)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with http://tfl.nu/oe7q
  Replies (13) Good night (1055) Bad night (3818)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/8o52
  Replies (17) Good night (831) Bad night (6746)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me http://tfl.nu/r4q8
  Replies (12) Good night (1228) Bad night (7151)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin http://tfl.nu/3kj0
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (2811)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  Yupp. And someone's bleeding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right? (1-262): Yupp. And someone's bleeding http://tfl.nu/ez4o
  Replies (1) Good night (1234) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated. http://tfl.nu/ulsy
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me. http://tfl.nu/o8pj
  Replies (1) Good night (762) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin. http://tfl.nu/dn4i
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two. http://tfl.nu/rn6m
  Replies (6) Good night (312) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up http://tfl.nu/p34w
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability" http://tfl.nu/w8b2
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket http://tfl.nu/jr4p
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (137)

Randomize