Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
