If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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