Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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