I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
...so i touched it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
