My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize