Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i barfeds in our rink
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Two words: nipple clamps
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