Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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