Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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