i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
