i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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