first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
