Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
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