She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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