wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
