It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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