I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
