does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
