Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
