dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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