a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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