Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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