I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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