I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
