i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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