of course. lets lasso hookers.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
