I got chris browned last night
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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