we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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